The only thing missing were the grapes

After a full day face planted in front of the computer, I thought it would be a good idea if I got my ass up and went to the gym.  Normally I like to get rid of some stress by doing a spin class but this time I headed to the gym’s main cardiovascular room.    Which, at the East Bank Club, resembles a small unincorporated township.  Massive.

Oprah and Obama have worked out in this room.

As I walked past rows of equipment, my eyes spot a new row of elliptical machines.  (This club upgrades equipment like most people change towels, so there is always something new to try.)

In addition to the huge flat screens mounted on the walls, some of the exercise machines have individual TVs.  This was one of them.  You just plug in your earphones and jump on.

So, there I was.  Pumping my arms and legs back and forth, watching my heart rate, calorie burn and a reality TV show which shall be nameless.

A little ironic that I'm watching a woman consume 1,000 calories while trying to burn off a fraction of that.

And then I saw it.  A small button on the control console that said “fan.”  What the….?!  Fan?!  This thing has a fan?!!  No way.

So I press the button.  Suddenly air whooshes out of the console up toward my face.  OMG.  Hilarious.

Let me get this straight.  This thing has a place to hold my water, a personal TV, heart rate monitor…and now a fan, perfectly aimed at my face, to cool me down.

Just one question.  Isn’t a cute trainer supposed to be feeding me grapes long about now?

Categories: Exercise torture