Rantopolis

New things I learned this weekend.

In the process of renting my condo, I learned some brand new things this weekend.  For example:

1.  All females born in 1986 are named Kate.  Yup.  That’s a fact.  I had three different applicants born during that year who were named…yes, you guessed it.  Kate.   (My current tenant is also named Kate.)  You want to take a wild guess what the new tenant’s name is?

2.  People have no clue what their boyfriend/girlfriend’s birth date is.  Listen up.  You must master this skill.  Failure to do so will earn you decades of tears, reaming and other unpleasant consequences.  (Two of my applicants screwed up their partner’s birth date.  I had to point it out to them after doing the credit check.  One guy even begged me not to tell his girlfriend.)  Oh, the power.

3.  People are lazy and/or have reading comprehension problems.

  • What floor is the condo on?  (It’s clearly stated in the ad headline. When was your last eye exam? Please tell me you have a good health plan.)
  • Do you allow small pets?  (What is it about the words “no” and “pets” in the ad that didn’t you understand?  Unless you have an ant on a leash, the answer is still no.)
  • Does it have a garbage disposal?  That’s a deal breaker.  (Yes, the condo has one giant garbage disposal.  No closets, toilet or bedrooms.  Just an 800 sq. ft. garbage disposal. )

4.  Try not to say stupid things to your potential new landlord.  Like how you are going to screw over your present landlord by only giving them three weeks notice.  And then provide that landlord’s name as a reference.

5. If you are going to apply for an apartment have good credit.  Yeah, we check.

6.  If you are big boy or girl and are ready to move in with your boyfriend/girlfriend then don’t ask if it’s okay to have your parents cosign.  It isn’t.  (Why don’t we just skip the middle person and just have your parents move into the apartment.)

Categories: Uncategorized

2 comments

1 Glenn { 03.11.12 at 10:20 pm }

Lol, I have a niece born 24 days into 1987 and her name is Kate. I think it’s a pretty common name for the last half of the 80’s. Your last few posts about renting that condo have been a stitch. I saw how much of a time you were having that I almost shot you a low ball offer for the condo just to take you out of your misery. Then I decided we value your friendship and that might not be a good idea given how cranked up some of those people got you. You may not have taken the joke lightly. I love the one about dropping the rent about 1/3. Hello!?

2 Sophia { 03.11.12 at 10:25 pm }

My theory is that all of the pages in the baby girl’s name book were ripped out except for the page with Kate on it. Twenty years from now, we’ll be renting to Sophia’s. (Shoot me.)

I actually have more stories. We are overdue for a dinner. We need to get together and have some laughs.