Today I am grateful for my broke ass

Yesterday started like any other day by my taking a shower.  After I exited, I leaned into the shower area to wipe the back wall. Unknowingly, I had my feet planted on a wet hardwood floor.

Still not sure how it got wet.  I guess that will remain one of life’s mysteries.

The water caused my middle-aged lower extremities to attempt the splits.  (I believe the last time that happened Nixon was president.)  Until the trailing leg decided it wasn’t having any.

That’s when it decided to buckle, throwing me hip/side ass cheek on top of the bathroom scale.

This is the devil's toolbox.

Oh, the irony.

As I started to go down, I quickly tried to position myself to minimize injury.  My ass is definitely more padded than say…my wrist.  (Who said all of those holiday desserts didn’t serve a health purpose.)

So, I decided, ass it is!

But then I thought, I better try to prevent my head from striking something so I stuck my hand out.

Yeah, I thought of all of these things in the space of a second.  (I’m Greek.  Not only do we talk fast, but we also think fast.  I probably could also have found the time to assemble a gyro sandwich on the way down.)

So, here I am a day later with a huge black and blue mark on my hip/ass side region.  I also have a sore wrist and some stiffness in my upper left arm.

What I am most grateful about is that I didn’t break anything.  (I live in fear of breaking my hand/wrist since I write for a living.)

So the moral of this story is that it is much more desirable to have a broke ass than a broken hand.  And while a padded ass may not be ideal for skinny jeans, it is an excellent talisman against hip replacement.

I think somebody should pass me some dessert.

Categories: Accidental things


1 Rebecca Boyce { 01.15.12 at 10:12 pm }

I cannot stop laughing I had tears & almost had to run to the bathroom in fear of peeing my pants. However I am sooo sorry u hurt yourself. Love u dearly!

2 Sophia { 01.15.12 at 10:13 pm }

Thanks! LOL

3 Judy { 01.16.12 at 5:04 pm }

I love all the thinking going on in your mind while you’re on your way down. Funny, funny stuff girlfriend.

4 Sophia { 01.16.12 at 8:37 pm }

Thank you Judy! And thanks for your continued support. Glad you are enjoying Rantopolis enough to keep stopping by.