Rantopolis

The Xmas alligator, pelican and fusilli tales

Apparently children residing in the Florida Keys have been really, really naughty.  Instead of coals in their stockings (which would be bad enough) these children will be paid a visit by the Christmas alligator.

BTW, he has sharp teeth and powered head that moves back and forth.  His innards include a series of lights.  Or perhaps those are the remains of small children he has eaten.  I’m not sure which.

And then there is the red bow around his belly and the Santa hat.  (What? No smoking jacket and a pipe? Obviously not an upper class alligator.)

Clearly, he likes to perch on awnings, ready to pounce on victims passing below.

You should also meet its cousin, the Christmas Pelican.  If the alligator doesn’t gobble you up, then the Christmas Pelican will peck you to death.  Wearing what else?  A Santa hat.

Tis the season to peck you to death.

If that isn’t frightening enough, then meet the Christmas Fusilli. It’s been known to grow 20 feet tall and appear in groups of three.

Do those come with marinara sauce and garlic bread?

Faced with these three options, coal suddenly doesn’t look so bad.

Categories: Florida insanity , The Conch Republic

2 comments

1 Suzanne { 12.15.11 at 10:16 pm }

May you always write your take on the world we all live in. It is a welcome respite for me with each post that you make.
Love you Sophia!

2 Sophia { 12.15.11 at 10:18 pm }

Thank you Suz. Love you back!