This must be public urination week

Earlier this week, I read a story about a man urinating in the aisle of an airplane in front of a 12 year old girl.  Today, I heard about French actor Gerard Depardieu urinating on a plane while it was preparing to take off.

These aren’t people with incontinence problems.  They are simply your garden variety drunk assholes.

I digress for a moment to scream, “What the hell is wrong with you people?!!”

Fair warning potential plane urinators. If I see one of you stand up and start to unzip, I’m telling you right now, I’m going to rip out my tray table and slap your dick with it.

I am not interested in looking at your penis while I’m trying to figure out if I want to buy the giant cookie or tube of Pringles.

Travel insurance.

Also, a note to the airlines.  I know you are totally against giving passengers anything for free anymore, but you may wish to modify that policy a tad.  Please consider handing out Depends to drunk or crazy looking men while they are still in the jetway.

Spending a little cash on male diapers may end up saving you a whole bunch in cleaning costs and lawsuits.

Categories: Travel drama , What is wrong with you?


1 cassie { 08.18.11 at 9:06 pm }

I really don’t think there’s any time when Depardieu should be droppin trou. Much less on a closed airplane where I can’t run away screaming. Anyway, the depends are excellent idea, but I recommend crazies get locked in the bathroom for the duration of the flight. A little turbulance in there should cure them of the crazy.

2 Sophia { 08.18.11 at 9:11 pm }

I totally agree with you re: Depardieu. In fact, lets encase him in body armour. But no go on locking the offenders in the lavatory. That would mean fewer available johns on the plane which would increase the chance of pissing the the aisle. Then we are right back where we started.

3 Sheree Valukas { 08.22.11 at 5:40 pm }

Hysterical. You make me laugh all the time. Thank you!

4 Maria { 08.24.11 at 4:37 pm }

Supposedly, Depardieu suffers from “prostate problems” and encountered a nasty flight attendant(see below):
Fellow actor Edouard Baer, who was travelling with the 62-year-old film star on the flight to Dublin to film the latest “Asterix and Obelix” movie, said Depardieu had tried to urinate in a water bottle when denied access to the toilet by a hostess.

“It’s just that the bottle was too small. It’s true that it overflowed,” Baer told Europe 1 radio. “He was embarrassed. He wanted to clean it up…It was very humiliating and awkward for him. He obviously made a big scene (saying) ‘I pissed on myself’.”

The incident came to light on Wednesday when a passenger on the flight from Paris to Dublin told French radio that Depardieu, star of movies such as “Jean de Florette” and “Green Card”, appeared to be drunk and had urinated in the aisle during takeoff, when passengers must remain seated.

The Tuesday evening flight AF5010 operated by CityJet, a subsidiary of Air France, was forced to return to the terminal where a team boarded the plane to clean the carpet. It finally took off with a delay of 1 hour and 15 minutes, an Air France spokesperson said.

“However outrageous my friend Gerard can be, no-one would be happy to have prostate problems and to be obliged to urinate,” Baer said.

“Gerard wanted to explain to the people on the plane, then he was furious, which I can understand, but he did not lose his temper. It was the hostess who was being zealous, and there you go, he took the next airplane. There was no problem.”


5 Sophia { 08.24.11 at 4:41 pm }

Sorry, but that’s just p.r. spin. (I should know. LOL) A bazillion people have prostrate issues. Why wasn’t he wearing an adult diaper if his situation was that tenuous? I call bull shit.