Rantopolis

Hot, lazy weekend in south Florida

Nothing is more exhausting than laying around doing nothing.  Which is pretty much what I try to do every time I come to South Florida.

As long as a coconut doesn't fall on my head, I'm good.

The only real mental exercise I  get is deciding:

a. when/what to eat

b. which alcoholic beverages to include with a.

c.  when to go to the pool

d.  which SPF to use

That’s pretty much it.  However, in between making all of these taxing decisions, I was able to harness a few brain cells to observe some random things over the last couple of days.

1. To the guy running down Las Olas Blvd (Ft. Lauderdale) yesterday at lunch:  Why were you wearing a bright green spandex body suit?  Were you trying to find your long-lost family of green beans?

2. To the guy sitting next to me at the oceanside restaurant at lunch earlier today:  It’s a shame that you have a girlfriend.  It’s hard to find a guy in the Florida Keys who is a professional and has teeth.  Bummer.

3.  To the guy that entered the diner shirtless on Friday:  Dude, you should never subject strangers who are dining to your torso flesh.  Eeewwww.

4.  To the guy wearing a full face mask at the Founder’s Park food/art festival earlier today:  I get that you are trying to minimize sunburn, but I’m guessing that when you try to remove that thing later tonight, it may have become laminated to your cheeks.

….and then there’s…

5.  Middle-age is when you decide you look better in a sun hat than in a hospital gown.  (Which is what you may end up wearing if you don’t wear a sun hat.)

6.  Cheeseburger in Paradise.  Thanks Jimmy Buffet.  That’s what I had for lunch.  I now have Onion Breath in Paradise.

7.  People cannot drive down here.  Within the span of 20 minutes, I drove by three really bad car accidents.  What is the problem South Florida?!  Heatstroke?!

With the temps currently in the mid-80s, writing  this has compounded my exhaustion.  The question now becomes do I have the energy to haul my ass off the couch and get  to the pool? Or should I fall asleep on the couch and then wake up in time for cocktail hour?

What would you do?

Categories: Can I get any lazier? , Tanning as a career , The Conch Republic

2 comments

1 Camile { 04.06.11 at 3:53 pm }

I LOVE your life…

2 Sophia { 04.06.11 at 4:12 pm }

Thanks Cammie! LOL…you wouldn’t have loved my life had you seen me working through part of that weekend.